Embracing My Limitations: How I Learned to Love Myself

I've always struggled with self-acceptance, particularly when it comes to my body. As a differently abled person, I've faced unique challenges that have made it difficult to feel good about myself. It wasn't until I was in my darkest moments and saw a dream that I realised I needed to embark on a journey of self-discovery and self-love. I had a vivid dream a few years back and just to share some context, at the time I was in my darkest moments and was just beginning my quest to search for divine guidance.

In my dream I saw myself in a white hijab and I looked at this girl who looked like me but she was looking so beautiful in her hijab. Before this I would never look at mirrors because I was afraid of seeing myself. It was after this dream that I made a conscious decision to start wearing my hijab and reconnect with my Lord. I have never looked back :)

Living with a rare autoimmune disease like scleroderma can be tough. It can make you feel like you're constantly fighting against your own body, leaving you exhausted and drained both physically and mentally. Over the years post my dream, I learned to listen to my body, how to adapt to the limitations and apply new ways of doing things. I wouldn’t get frustrated as I would, on the contrary I tuned my mind to believe that I was doing cool stuff in every way.

Of course it was hard, learning to love myself has been a journey and it's one that I'm still on. For me, each day is a new journey towards loving myself more. I have learned to accept my limitations and even embrace them and so much more along the way and I want to share my experience with you in the hopes that it might help someone else who's struggling.

The first and most important step was reconnecting with my faith. My dream was a turning point in my life that led me to renew my connection with Allah. This helped me find a sense of purpose and gave me the strength to keep going. By finding peace and solace in my faith, I was able to focus on the positives in my life and overcome the challenges that came my way. Allah guided me to embracing my new self and seeing the purpose for it. Alhamdulillah

The second step was to unlearn what I thought of as "normal." I had to realise that my body was different and that I couldn't do everything that other people could do. I started to focus more on what I could do than what I couldn’t and that meant doing more of what I love. It also helped me to shift my mindset from one of self-pity to one of self-love and appreciation. So what if I couldn’t hold a glass of water with one hand or stretch out my hand fully? It simply meant that I had to find new ways of doing things that worked for my body and that I was still just as deserving of love and respect as anyone else.

From there, I had to start adapting my lifestyle to my condition. For example, I had to learn to slow down and take breaks when I needed them, even if it meant missing out on social events or other activities. I also had to find new ways of doing things that worked for my body, such as using light cutlery when eating and drinking, wardrobe changes to ensure I am always warm or finding different positions to sit or stand in. All these meant lifestyle changes not only for me but my family included; it meant changes around the house with furniture, utensils, etc. Adapting also meant I had to learn how to ask for help, something I struggle with even today. I need help with many daily activities and as someone who prides herself on being independent, it was hard to accept that I needed assistance. However, I realised that asking for help did not make me weak, but rather it showed strength and courage to acknowledge my limitations and work towards finding solutions and moving forward. It also allowed me to form deeper connections with my loved ones, as they were able and ever ready to lend a helping hand and support me in my journey towards self-acceptance and self-love. This led to another crucial realisation on the importance of surrounding myself with people who love and accept me for who I am.

But perhaps the most important part of my journey has been learning to see myself in a new light. I used to think of myself as scary, broken or damaged, but now I see myself as resilient and strong and beautiful in my own unique way. My differences make me who I am and that's something to be celebrated. I've learned to celebrate my victories, no matter how small, and to be kind to myself when I feel frustrated about my limitations. I found ways to celebrate my unique beauty and different identity.

It hasn't been an easy journey, but it's been a rewarding one. I've learned so much about myself and about what it means to truly love and accept myself for who I am and continue to do so. And I hope that by sharing my story, I can inspire others to do the same.

Say it with me:

I am worthy of love and respect, no matter what my body looks like or what it can do.

Take care and keep being wonderful!

Until the next feed, please share this newsletter with your audience.

Enthusiastically,

Farah Khaleck